Miracle?

I'm drained. Another day. Up early. Drink a liter of water. Read the Bible on the throne. Eat breakfast. Go to staff worship. Sing something in Nangjere. Read some obscure Old Testament passage. Listen to how many patients got admitted with malaria last night. Hear how many kids died of malaria last night. Pray. Grab stethescope, clipboard, and pen. Walk to the wards. Notice how much plastic, bloody cotton, and trash is lying around. Look at the dirty walls and floors. Watch them bring out the filthy round cart. Walk around. Look and see how many meds haven't been given. Yell a little. Listen to some hearts and lungs to make it look like I'm doing something. Write prescriptions. Send people home. Send people to the lab. Change dirty dressings. Smell many things I'd rather not describe. Repeat same thing in Pediatrics. Yell at mothers and fathers for not buying the necessary meds to treat their kids. Yell at them again for not giving the meds or giving them wrong. Get "fives" from chronic, cute kids who'll probably be handicapped for life because the best place they can come is here and here's not good enough. Hear about a premature baby referred for warming lights. Smirk bitterly as I remember warmers without probes to make them work and lack of electricity besides. Promise to come see baby after rounds. Finish rounds. Go see baby sitting on front steps of clinic. Notice sun shining on tiny 7 month premie who is blue. Watch and see no breathing. Tell mom boy is dead. For some reason, listen to heart with stethescope. Hear heart beat. Lackadaisically pick up baby and walk over to gurney. Put baby on gurney in sun. Call for bag-valve-mask to breath for baby. Start breathing for baby. Ignore soon gathering crowd of locals. Too tired to care. Continue breathing. Baby starts to turn pink and grimace. Baby starts to move legs and arms. Listen to heart. Beating stronger. Keep breathing. Getting warm. Murmurs ripple through crowd. Sweat drips onto baby. Baby opens eyes. Stop breathing for baby. Baby breathes with difficulty on own. Continue to help from time to time. Send for mom. Give pink, squirming, breathing baby into mom's arms. Tell her to sit in sun. Feel heart pounding. Warm, feel-good feeling. Go back to grind. Miracle? Two hours later, nurse tells me...baby...is...DEAD...